It’s not about me

It is not about me. It is not about what I can do with my own strength. It is about what I can do through Christ who strengthens me. I want to live my life with God in the center, He being the sole purpose in where I am and what I am doing.

With this, I would like to talk a little bit about this blog. What does each blog post mean to me? It means me pouring out what is on my mind and heart and putting it into words. It gives me the ability to use my writing skills in a way that touches others. I want it to mean more to God though. I want Him to work through me, and for His name to be glorified with every single post. I want His name to be uplifted more than my own.

This is really hard sometimes, especially since often times I am writing about myself. However, my goal is that you may read my posts, and not just think about me, but also relate my story to your own. Know that each post is intended for good and my purpose is not to have the spotlight on me, but to help God’s name be glorified.

We are doing a series in my church called “Honor: Reclaiming what matters most in life.” It is about honoring the Ten Commandments, and therefore, honoring God in tandem. Last week the message was about lying. How do we honor truth in today’s society? We shall not lie to one another, but in reality, that is easier said than done. I also want to take this idea of honoring truth here to this blog. I think truth in written words can be very powerful, and that is what I am trying to do through this blog, share truth. By putting my unique spin and integrating my experiences into this blog, I am able to make finding truth and meaning personal, but with all the spotlight on Him.

Truth in today’s world can be hard to find. Honestly speaking, I struggle day in and day out to keep good, biblical thoughts in my mind all day long. It just doesn’t happen, lies always sink in. And I think for those who have been reading my blog, you understand that about me. In this blog, I integrate the twisted and untruthful things in life, putting them on the table, and trying to see if there is a way to turn them around because I know with God, there is always a way.

Truth is important, and I want to bring that into the light. The biggest truth I want to bring into light is that our lives don’t revolve around us and how much we do on this Earth, but how much we do for Him and how much His name is glorified. I hope that through this post, you may come to understand more of my purpose and intentions for this blog, and that your sights may be set on His truths in your own life. 

A flashback to a relaxing Saturday morning…

I am sitting down this morning, a crisp Saturday morning in October, knowing I want and need to spend time with the Lord.

It was a busy and exhausting week, like many weeks this fall, and I did not have much time to sit down and talk to God. I have a million other things I could be doing right now. I could sleep more or do one of my tasks written in my planner. There is always something to get a head start on. But I know, right now, I need to do none of those things. I feel a tugging at my heart to just sit down, relax, and let God’s Word press into me.

So I found a spot in the house, where I couldn’t get distracted with anything or by anyone. I have my cup of coffee beside me and here I am, ready to go. Alright God, I’m ready.

I am expecting a grand revelation to come over me right now, but nothing is happening. I am confused and wondering what to do.

I have been sitting here for a few minutes now wondering what I should be doing, wondering what God wants me to be doing – should I just sit here and listen to music, write in my journal, read my Bible or articles online? I am unsure of what God wants from me today.

I have now started looking at articles online, still wondering if I am doing this “God time” right.

I landed on a good one, a Christian article titled “what am I supposed to be doing with my life?” It seems to fit what I am thinking and feeling right now. I am finally realizing what I was worrying about this whole time is silly…

God doesn’t care how we come to Him, whether it is through song, prayer or His Word. He just wants us to come to Him, with all our needs and burdens. He wants us to come just the way we are. He will speak to us, just don’t always expect to do nothing in order for that to happen. God still wants us to take action.

Come to me, all who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. ~ Matthew 11:28

This fall has been more than I can handle at points. Many times I feel disappointed in my words or actions due to sin and not focusing on God enough. I want more God, I just don’t know how or where to start a lot of the time. Sometimes, I even worry that I am not good enough to go back to God, that I haven’t spent enough time with Him so when I do block off a chunk of time to spend with Him, He won’t take me back.

I know this all isn’t true, but sometimes that isn’t enough to stop me from thinking these thoughts. God accepts us for who we are and wherever we are at. We know this is true, but do we always believe it deep in our hearts?

I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know this full well. ~ Psalm 139:14

Before we were even born, we were accepted and loved forever by our Heavenly Father. We aren’t perfect, but we are enough. We are always enough to go back to God with all that we are, all that we have been, and all that we want to be.

How do you define yourself?

Do you ever feel like a terrible person when you need to back out of something you said you would do? Or when you try to do something, but you can’t do it to your best?

A lot of times, we see ourselves through the stuff we do, we define ourselves by those standards. And when we do that, others see us that way too. So when we feel like we have failed at whatever we doing, our positive self-image becomes very rusty and it is hard to see ourselves for who we truly are.

You are not defined by what you do, but by who you are in Christ.

Focus on that truth. Focus on the things of heaven, not of earth.

You can’t do everything. You aren’t here to please everyone. You aren’t even here to please yourself all the time! You are here to honor God by obeying His commands, so that when it comes to the end of your life, you can hear the words of “well done, good and faithful servant.”

When you fail to please, when you disappoint, God still loves you and sees you the same.

Lord, forgive me for those times I feel I have failed and then think poorly of myself. Help me to see myself the way You see me. Help me not to get caught up in the expectations of others, but help me to focus on honoring You and becoming more and more like Jesus every day. I am in this world, but not of the world. My identity lies in You. 

Amongst all the craziness...

It has been a busy couple of weeks. Transitioning to the school environment has been a challenge, and I already feel like more is piling on me then what I can handle.

But what is unique about being a student is that everyone is in the same boat. We all have schoolwork, and many of us have other activities or jobs outside of school. We also have our interests and passions, or the things we like to do outside of responsibilities that make us happy and feel relaxed. Life seems to be a balancing act, and the goal is to keep it all together and not topple over.

Although we are all students with responsibilities, the differentiation comes in the way we look at the tasks piled up in front of us – “this is impossible” or “I can do this.”

I have a feeling that through all the craziness, God is teaching us something.

Amongst all the craziness, I know God is there.

He is teaching me how to succeed, and almost more importantly, how to fail.

How to not be a perfectionist.

How to have too much to do, and make the decision – what is most important? What am I willing to sacrifice?

What is actually most important to you?

Whatever you do, do for the glory of God.

But put God’s kingdom first. Do what He wants you to do. Then all those things will also be given to you. So don’t worry about tomorrow. Tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. ~Matthew 6:33-34

Do the best with what is in front of you, and be ok with imperfection.

FAITH

               What is faith?

                              Why is it important?

                                             How do I have faith?

I recently learned that Hebrews 11 and 12 are the “faith” chapters of the Bible. A review of these chapters instigated my personal reflection on this vital attribute – “faith” - which I say I have, but really not sure what that means all the time.

Here are some simple words and key concepts that came out of some reflection…

Faith.

It is not my “religion.”

               It is not a hobby of mine.

                              It is not just something I practice on Sunday mornings.

But it is the way I try to live my life day-to-day – leaning on and trusting in God.

Sometimes I lack it, some days I need it more than others, but it is always there

               even if it is just a small glimpse.

Walk by Faith.

Knowing that He, the Almighty One, has a plan far greater than my own.

               He is in control.

I believe, I trust in the unseen,

               knowing that He is there.

This is hard – to give up everything, to give up your own ways,

               but I am striving to get better.

Just Keep Going.

There will be hurt and hardships – I will endure them (Hebrews 12:7).

Keep going.

Take a step of faith, and then, one by one, I will be running.

               Running the race He has set before me (Hebrews 12:1).

Not giving up, but looking to Jesus (Hebrews 12:2).

With faith and God’s grace, we can do all things He has set before us.

Life update on Sarah: I started my sophomore year of college this week – and I am making one of my goals this year to truly try to live by faith each and every day.

The worst is actually the best. The best can sometimes be the worst.

          The attributes of God’s greatest gifts

How does this make sense? How can the worst thing in my life also be the best? I think with a little explanation, you will understand what I am trying to say, and I hope that you also find connections to this odd contradiction in your own life.

The greatest harm,

               But the best rewards.

The hardest times,

               But the best miracles.

The loudest cries,

               But the biggest smiles.

Family

               Work

                              School

                                             Relationships

These things can bring me to tears of hurt and frustration, yet at the same time, leave me thanking God for giving them to me, for I could not live this wonderful life without them.

These things in life that cause us both sadness and happiness, pain and pure joy are exactly this – God’s greatest blessings. But how can a gift so brilliant also cause so much hurt?

Well, there are many things in the Bible that contradict like this. For example…

When I am weak, I am strong

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong. ~ 2 Corinthians 12:9-11

The contradiction here is: “For when I am weak, then I am strong.” Explained in these verses, during times of weakness, the power of the Holy Spirit rests in us, giving us the strength and the courage to overcome any difficulty. Times of weakness give God’s true power the opportunity to be displayed in a magnificent way.

There is a time for everything

There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens:

               A time to be born and a time to die,

               A time to plant and a time to uproot,

               A time to kill and a time to heal,

               A time to tear down and a time to build,

               A time to weep and a time to laugh,

               A time to mourn and a time to dance,

               A time to scatter stones and time to gather them,

               A time to embrace and time to refrain from embracing,

               A time to search and a time to give up,

               A time to keep and a time to throw away,

               A time to tear and a time to mend,

               A time to be silent and a time to speak,

               A time to love and a time to hate,

               A time for war and a time for peace.

                              ~ Ecclesiastes 3: 1-9

I really like these verses in Ecclesiastes, my favorite being “A time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance.” These verses help us to understand that 1) there is a time for everything and 2) what God has given us, the world around us, can cause us to both “weep” and “laugh”, “mourn” and “dance.”

So yes, it just so could be that God’s greatest gifts are those that sometimes cause us great pain, but at other times great joy. With that, when something is causing us pain, let us try and remember that His power is made strong in our weakness, and that the very thing causing us pain could be one of God’s greatest blessings.

Patience. Trust. Perseverance.

Relax, Sarah – Chill out – Just wait – Be patient!

When my mind is racing, and when I am starting to have a nervous breakdown, these are phrases that I often hear people say to me, but for some reason, they don’t help all that much. Even though they are natural words to help get me to calm down while I am displaying these emotions, they tend to escalate my feelings of anxiousness and impatience instead of diminish them.

Why is this happening, I don’t understand. Why can’t I know what to do right at this moment?

This is what is most likely going through my mind at those times I don’t understand why something is happening, and when I don’t know what to do about it. Or when I am looking ahead at my unknown future and just want to know what is going to happen next.

So during these times, the words “Just be patient, Sarah” usually aren’t as effective as the person saying them wishes them to be (I'm sorry to admit that for those of you that have said this to me - no hard feelings!). Maybe it is because they don’t explain why I need to be patient, the “reward” I will receive by just being patient.

Patience is linked to trust– trusting that God has your life in His hands. The truth is, He has great plans in store for you, so there is no need to worry about what is ahead. For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope. – Jeremiah 29:11. But trusting in God’s plan is much easier said than done, for me at least. I found that this second link helped me to understand the importance of patience even more.

Hebrews 10:36 reads, You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what he has promised. Persevere by definition is “to continue a course of action even in the face of difficulty or with little or no prospect of success.” To me, perseverance requires both patience (“the capacity to accept or tolerate delay, trouble, or suffering without getting angry or upset”) and complete trust in God’s mighty power and incredible plan for your life. By persevering through any trial, you will “receive what he has promised.” In other words, you will receive your “reward.” Perseverance is a value of mine: something that is very important to me, influences the decisions I make, and defines my character. Linking perseverance (an attribute I feel pretty strong in) to patience (an attribute I don’t enjoy practicing as much) gives me more confidence that I can be patient. It makes being patient not seem so bad!

To me, linking patience, trust and perseverance together makes sense. It explains the importance of being patient in God’s timing (which is never early or late, but always just right), and trusting in His will when you don’t know all the details.

It explains why in the midst of a trial, all three of these attributes are tested and strengthened.

Patience. Trust. Perseverance. – This week, I challenge you to display all three of these attributes in a new way, whether it is in your relationships, in the midst of a trial you are facing right now, or working them into your day to day activities. May these attributes grow stronger and lead you ever more closer to the presence and will of our Heavenly Father.